Around 3 minutes, although on an awesome day I might get lucky and score 5 (if I throw the Ipad at my daughter and let my son cry in his crib). That is about the typical length of time I get to myself in sporadically occurring blocks. Hence why my blog posts are short enough that you can read them while pooping and I bet you are not doing that alone either.
I tell my daycare lady I will be there at 9:00 am and as usual I am always 15-30 minutes late. I can see her laughing at the phone when I text to say I am running late AGAIN! Why is it that everything with children takes so goddamn long and by the time I actually get out of my house it looks like a bomb exploded. I pray that we don’t die on the highway because if someone had to come into my house afterward they would assume that I have the worst luck because as if it wasn’t bad enough that I was killed on the highway but an intruder also broke in and destroyed the place we called home!
Most days my list of accomplishments includes showering and writing half an email response for work that should have gone out 2 days ago. I wish I knew the secret to getting a lot done. I see some moms killing it on the getting shit done like a boss level and am in awe of all they do. I have those days every once in a while where things just flow and my to-do list is full of crossed out items. But let’s be honest most days with little ones are a wash and I have come to realize you just gotta live for the small victories like the fact you cooked a homemade meal and are not eating McDonald’s for the third day in a row…not that there is anything wrong with that. I mean, the kid is fed, has a new toy and is now in a grease coma for at least the next 4 hours for the low cost of $5. Maybe now you can get shit done or catch up on Netflix… A total win in my opinion.
So this brings me to things I just don’t have time for….